


What We Deserve

by Tamasha



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gay, Jealous Arthur, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Modern Era, Oblivious Arthur, One Night Stands, One Shot, Relationship(s), Romance, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 13:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8491027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamasha/pseuds/Tamasha
Summary: “Gwaine would come over most Sundays to watch the game and tell Arthur all about his sexual conquest of the weekend. Arthur never found himself caring about his friend's adventures in fucking, as he liked to call them. This Friday, however, was different; Arthur found he cared a whole lot about Gwaine’s story.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> written by Tamara

Gwaine would come over most Sundays to watch the game and tell Arthur all about his sexual conquest of the weekend. Leon would come, mostly for the game, but he sometimes took interest in Gwaine’s stories. Arthur never found himself caring about his friend's adventures in fucking, as he liked to call them. But since Arthur wasn’t bothered by them either, he let his friend speak freely. This Friday, however, was different; Arthur found he cared a whole lot about Gwaine’s story.

"God, he was so good. The boy is skinny and has bat ears, but God almighty, he was such a good shag."

With his eyes glued to the telly, Arthur took a long swig of his beer. He could not believe he was listening to this. His friend was talking about sleeping with Merlin. Sweet, innocent Merlin. But apparently not all that innocent?

Leon turned from the television, finally interested. "Wait, so Merlin actually slept with you?"

"Yeah. Why? Is that surprising?" Gwaine flicked his beer bottle in Leon’s direction, resulting in a splash of it landing on the other man.

Leon just shrugged, unflustered by Gwaine’s attack. "I just didn't think Merlin thought of you that way." Arthur noted how Leon emphasized the word "you", as if there was someone else that Merlin did think of that way.

"It was just a fuck. No biggie."

Arthur was having trouble pretending he was watching the game still. His hand gripped his beer bottle tighter and he tried to keep his voice level he as he spoke. "Don't break his heart."

Leon and Gwaine didn’t respond, just stared at Arthur for a moment as if they couldn't believe he had just spoken. 

"What?" Arthur asked, confused. "I'm just saying... Merlin isn't the one night stand kind of guy."

"How would you know, Princess?" Gwaine asked with a bit more of a bite than usual.

Arthur glowered. "I... he's my friend too. I just know he doesn't do that kind of thing often."

Leon barked a laugh, but covered his mouth quickly to silence it.

"What?" Arthur asked again, still very confused.

Gwaine just shook his head, holding down a smile. "Nothing. Nothing. It's just... Well, it seems Merlin must want to keep his sex life from you."

Arthur and Merlin had been friends for nearly four months. They met at Lancelot and Guinevere's wedding. Gwaine had introduced them and tried to get them to hook up that night, but Arthur had wanted to take things slow. Apparently he had taken things too slow because they ended up becoming friends and nothing more. Arthur was okay with that. Mostly. Why wasn't he okay with that? It probably had something to do with the fact that Merlin was the nicest person Arthur had ever met, and all Arthur did was make fun of him. Really, what was wrong with him?

Leon got up to grab each of them another beer. When he was in the other room, Gwaine turned to Arthur and actually looked concerned. "Did I cross a line?"

"What? With Merlin? No... it just... No, it's fine. He can do whatever he wants. So can you."

Gwaine’s face immediately shifted. "Great. Because I might have to fuck him again. It was that good."

"Hmm," Arthur replied, clenching his jaw. Why was he upset? Gwaine and Merlin were both perfectly capable of making their own choices. But Arthur still couldn't ignore the anger rising inside him.

Leon returned and handed both of them a fresh beer. Gwaine caught him up on the game and the three fell into a companionable silence. Then Gwaine’s mobile rang.

"Hey... Nothing, just watching the game... Arthur and Leon... No, I can ask." He held his hand over the receiver, "Hey, Arthur, can Merlin join?"

Merlin? Merlin... Why was he calling Gwaine? They had hooked up last night and now Merlin was calling him already? And what was this talk of not being aware of Merlin's sex life? Did he really sleep around a lot? God, the last thing Arthur wanted was to think about the other guys Merlin had been with. Especially when one of them was Gwaine Orkney. No. He didn’t want to see Merlin right now. Not at all.

"Well..." Arthur couldn’t do it. He couldn’t just say no. "I might need to call it an early night tonight..."

Gwaine shrugged. "He will leave whenever I leave, so you won't have to worry about him taking up more of your time."

Arthur's blood boiled at the thought of Merlin leaving at the same time as Gwaine and what that implied.

"No," Arthur replied, bitterly, with no follow up.

Leon looked surprised, then confused, then he looked like he felt sorry for Arthur. Why would he feel sorry for Arthur?

"Hey, uh, Merls, I don’t think it's a good idea if you come over. I'll call you later, yeah?" Gwaine kept his eye on Arthur as he hung up the phone. Both of Arthur's friends were looking at him as if he were under interrogation. It was more than a little uncomfortable.

"Stop that." But Arthur knew they weren't going to let it slide.

"You still like him, don't you, Princess?"

Arthur bit his lip. He wasn’t good at lying, and his friends were clearly very perceptive. "I don’t... he's a friend. I..." Arthur gave up with a sigh. "Yeah... I do. Fuck."

Leon was bound to take the gentle approach, but Arthur winced at the thought of what Gwaine might say. "Aww. That's sweet," Gwaine cooed.

Arthur grimaced. "It's really not."

Leon smiled at Arthur as if he were a simpleton. "Why haven't you made a move yet? Merlin is -"

"No, no, no," Gwaine interrupted. "We aren't playing it like that, Leon. Arthur doesn't get to know."

"Know what?" Arthur queried, far too eagerly.

Gwaine set his beer on the coffee table and turned to face Arthur. "You don’t deserve him, you know. He's far too fucking perfect for your royal pain in the ass." Arthur just gaped, speechless. "You are nothing but rude to him and all he does is help you out whenever you need it. You're a fucking jerk, Pendragon. Seriously. You don't deserve him."

All the anger Arthur was feeling before came back, along with a whole new anger (that was paired with guilt, but Arthur couldn’t focus on that right now) "What the hell, Gwaine? You're the one who took advantage of him!"

"Advantage? HA! He was practically begging for it. You don't have any right to comment on what Merlin and I did."

Arthur face heated up and he had to stand up in order to burn off this red hot anger. "You always do this. Back in high school, you knew I liked Gwen, but you slept with her anyway, in Uni you slept with Percival before I could even properly introduce myself, and now this with Merlin... Gwaine, you were the one who introduced us!"

"Yeah, and I'm sorry I did. He is way too good for you." Gwaine crossed his arms and thumped backward onto the couch. "You can’t just get whatever you want, Arthur. The real world is much more complicated than the posh world you are used to. Just because you like Merlin doesn't mean you get to have him. You have to earn it."

"I..." Arthur began but Gwaine was right. He and Merlin got along, they joked and had a good time, but Arthur didn’t go out of his way to show Merlin how much he cared for him. It was selfish for him to think he had a right to care what Merlin did with his time.

Before Arthur could come up with a response, his mobile rang. The caller ID read: Merlin.

"Hello."

Merlin didn’t answer right away, Arthur thought maybe it was a butt dial, but then Merlin spoke. "Hey, erm, Gwaine said I couldn't come over?"

Arthur breathed heavily into the phone and ran a hand through his hair. "I, uh, I'm sorry. Yeah, you can come over if you want."

"I don't have to... I just was wondering if something was wrong."

"No," Arthur lied. "Nothing is wrong." Merlin hummed in agreement, but Arthur didn’t think he believed him. "Okay. See you soon?"

"Yeah," Merlin said softly.

Arthur hung up and looked guiltily at his friends. "Do I really treat him that poorly?"

Gwaine nodded at the same time Leon said, "No. Gwaine is exaggerating to get your attention, but you can be sort of mean to Merlin sometimes. And we all know Merlin is the last person who deserves it."

It was true. Merlin was so kind and gentle with everyone. Arthur wasn’t raised with a gentle hand, so he didn’t know how to deal with that kind of thing. But he wanted to. He wanted to so badly. And in spite of everything, Arthur really wanted to show Merlin that he was capable of being decent.

Gwaine stood up to meet Arthur. "Look mate, Merlin likes you. A lot. All he did was talk about you last night."

Arthur's head shot up and he stared at Gwaine intently to see if he was lying. Arthur didn’t think he was. Merlin really liked him. "He did?"

"Yeah, but you still treat him like shit, mate. Merlin’s been through a lot, and he deserves only the best. I don’t... look, Arthur, I like you, but do you really care about him enough to make the effort?"

"Of course I do!" Arthur scowled. "I care about him more than... God, Gwaine, I don't bully him. We are good mates, why did you have to go and tell me all that? I just..." Arthur realized too late that he was close to crying. God, he never wanted to hurt Merlin. He was the last person Arthur wanted to feel any kind of pain. Arthur's heart ached with guilt. He wanted so badly to apologize to Merlin as soon as possible.

Leon joined them and placed a reassuring hand on Arthur. "Look, Arthur, you are a good guy, and I believe you like him a whole lot. You have to tell him though, or he will slip through your fingers."

"Yeah, and end up with some jerk like me," Gwaine added. Arthur appreciated the joke, but his laugh was bitter and died out quickly.

"Just start by telling him the truth," Leon went back to the couch to grab the remote. He turned off the telly and took Gwaine’s shoulder. "We are going to get out of your hair. Arthur, just tell him."

Leon motioned for Gwaine to follow him out the door. After a second tug, Gwaine finally conceded and soon they both were gone, leaving Arthur alone in his flat with his thoughts.

 

~~~~~~

 

Merlin rang the doorbell hesitantly. He had only been over to Arthur’s house a few times in the past, so it wasn't like this was anything new. Arthur had sounded weird on the phone, though. Merlin heard what Arthur had said to Gwaine: a very clear, distinct "no". Merlin tried to ignore it, find something else to do, but what would Arthur be so upset about?

Merlin knew, in the back of his mind, that Gwaine was definitely talking about the night he had spent with him yesterday. Arthur was probably just sick of hearing about Gwaine’s sex life. Merlin didn’t believe that Arthur was actually upset with him, and even if he was, Merlin needed to get to the bottom of it. So that's why he called Arthur. But Arthur sounded so broken and hurt, Merlin just wanted to come over and hug him.

Not that he would.

But he came over didn’t he? And wouldn't that be a waste of a trip if he didn't...

"Oh, hey, I, uh," Arthur mumbled when he saw Merlin. "The others... um, they left."

God, he was being awkward and weird, which was cute, but he was also so sad, and that was cute in a different kind of way. Merlin almost did go in for that hug in that moment, but decided Arthur probably wouldn’t appreciate it. "That's fine. I want to talk to you anyway." Arthur moved to the side to allow Merlin to walk past him into the flat.

Arthur's flat always smelled like a weirdly wonderful mix of sweat and aftershave. Merlin remembered the first time he had come over he almost told Arthur that. That was the night when Merlin had thought they were on a date, but Arthur just showed Merlin his video game collection and they ended up watching a movie on separate ends of the couch.

After an awkward moment of silent shifting, Arthur offered Merlin a drink, then remained uncharacteristically quiet as he fumbled about in his kitchen. Merlin kept scolding himself for not speaking up. He needed to ask Arthur what was wrong, or what had happened over the phone, or, well, anything. But Merlin’s mouth was stuck and he couldn’t get it to work again.

When Arthur returned with a soda, knowing Merlin didn’t drink alcohol Merlin couldn’t keep the smile on his face. Arthur always remembered random details about Merlin, which was something he had always found endearing about Arthur. "So," Arthur said, sitting at his table.

"So," Merlin echoed, following Arthur’s lead and sitting across from his friend.

There was another moment of silence.

"Merlin," Arthur said as Merlin said, "Let me be honest."

"Go first," Arthur granted with a nod.

Merlin swallowed his anxiety and went for it. If nothing else, this would be his last chance with Arthur. He had been keeping his sex life away from Arthur on purpose, holding on hope that Arthur was still interested in him. Now, Arthur had found out about him and Gwaine, and was understandably upset about it. Whether it was because Merlin had kept it from him, or jealousy, it didn’t matter. Arthur deserved an apology. "Arthur, I just feel like I need to apologize. For something..."

"You?" Arthur said, eyes wide.

Merlin nodded. "I slept with Gwaine last night and I think you are upset because I didn't tell you. I'm sorry. I know it's weird since we are all friends..."

"No, Merlin. Stop. You don't have any reason to be sorry. I am the one who needs to apologize to you."

"Really?" Merlin's voice was high, and he hoped he didn’t sound so ridiculous to Arthur.

If Arthur noticed, he had the courtesy to not make fun of Merlin for it, which was different; Arthur wasn’t acting like himself at all. "Merlin, it's been brought to my attention that I can be really rude to you."

Merlin’s mouth fell open, with no command of his own. "What? Who said... Arthur..."

But Arthur plowed on, ignoring Merlin's protest. "I just want to say that I don't mean anything by teasing you so much. When I am rude to people it's usually because I feel comfortable with them and it's sorta my weird way of showing affection. You've met Morgana, that's kinda how we show we love each other. I just... I'm not trying to make excuses, Merlin, I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for how I've treated you, and I hope you can forgive me."

Merlin looked at Arthur incredulously, waiting for something to change, but it didn't. Arthur was serious. Though Merlin thought that Arthur's teasing was annoying at first, it had become a sort of comfort because Merlin saw that Arthur really cared about him in other ways. Like how Arthur remembered the small things about Merlin. Or how he offered to help clean up Merlin's flat when Gwaine had decided to throw a party there even though Merlin had to work early the next day. Or how he gave Merlin his coat the night they went to the beach when it was so windy they all almost blew away. Or, well, any number of things Arthur did. Everything Arthur did. He was so conscious of other people, there was no way Merlin thought poorly of him just because he made a few jokes about Merlin's ears or clumsiness. He was just Arthur.

"You don’t need to apologize, Arthur. I know how you are. I kinda got the whole affection thing. You only really make fun of me, while I'm also the only person you actually ask to hang out with you. Everyone else complains that they have to come to you if they want to see you. So, yeah, I get it, Arthur. You don't need to explain yourself to me. I'm your friend. If I had a problem with it, I would say something. But I like you for who you are."

"Really?" Now it was Arthur’s turn to embarrass himself as his voice cracked.

Merlin smiled. "Yeah. You are a very nice guy. Who told you that I was bothered by it?"

"Well," Arthur began, rubbing the back of his neck. "Gwaine was actually bothered by it. He um... we were talking about you two and it came up."

"How did you making fun of me come up when you two were talking about how I had sex with Gwaine?"

Arthur blushed. "It wasn’t anything negative about you, if that's what you're asking..."

Arthur was still acting odd and Merlin couldn’t place why. He wasn’t going to push it, till the red in Arthur’s cheeks betrayed him, so Merlin decided he should. "What I'm asking is: how did it come up?"

Arthur sighed. "He said I didn't deserve you."

"Deserve me?"

Merlin's eyes were fixed on Arthur, who kept averting his gaze. "I, um. I sort of, may have, kind of admitted to them that I was jealous... of you and Gwaine..." Merlin didn’t say anything, too stuck in shock. Was Arthur Pendragon admitting his feelings, finally? "Because I like you, Merlin. There. I said it." He locked eyes with Merlin and Merlin's mouth really stopped working. He couldn’t have respond, even if he had wanted to. "So. There's that. And it's stupid and I've waited so long, and you probably don't think of me like that anymore, and that's fine, but I just thought maybe you should know."

"Erm," Merlin stammered. "I'm glad you told me." There was silence, then, "Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you go on a date with me?"

Arthur laughed as if Merlin had just told a joke. "When?"

Merlin smiled devilishly. "Now?"

Arthur nodded. "Yeah, okay."

"You don’t need to turn in early for the night?"

Arthur stood up and offered his hand to Merlin. Merlin took it and stood up to meet Arthur. "If I do, you had better be with me still." Merlin laughed out loud, which made Arthur blush with embarrassment. "Merlin, no, I mean... I meant, like, we can watch a movie or... oh God."

"Arthur." Merlin took both of Arthur’s hands. "Stop thinking so much and kiss me already. You've waited so damn long and I'm sick of it."

"Me too," Arthur admitted with a smile and then he leaned in and obeyed Merlin’s demand. "It's about time we got around to that."

**Author's Note:**

> Arthur can be a prat, but Merlin doesn't mind. He’s the only one who understands Arthur. I love this confident Merlin who will take care of Arthur from here on out.


End file.
